French Crafts, je t’aime!

August 14, 2009


Paris took up the whole 3 weeks,
though other countries we planned to tread.
Mostly cause family and friends from Europe
wanted to visit us there instead.
I don’t have wild tales of my travels.
It’s like any big city, I suppose.
Only, with older architecture, slighty nicer fashions
and everything in euros.

We live in a time where the web gives us instant access
to information and more.
I continue to wonder why so many people now seem
less educated then before.
If the internet I did have growing up as a kid,
a genius I’m sure I would be.
I’m doing my best to make up for it now.
I even cancelled our cable tv.

If you have not checked it out already,
Google Maps you must use.
It’s not just satellite images,
now you can actually see street views.
On any map of any town,
just drag that little stick man.
You’ll find there’s rarely any road
not captured by The Google Van.
While it will never compare to actually being there
and seeing with your physical sight.
You can still tour the world via computer
without the costly and long airline flight.

Not to mention the crude airplane food
and customs riffling through all your threads.
FYI, in Europe, a stroller and a baby
gets you whisked past the line of hundreds!
Once back in the states, however,
be prepared for very long waiting.
Security checkpoints and tourist sites
are not so accommodating.

While I wish I could have brought you all back souvenirs,
there’s peddlers everywhere.
Like this dude from the Côte d’Ivoire,
who stepped into our camera shot there:

The airline restriction on luggage is insane and really sucks.
If over 50 pounds in weight we’d get charged $150 bucks!
Imagine me on a scale holding my bag and then,
moving shoes and jeans from one to the other and doing it again.
Just leave behind the French magazines.  Can’t bring back that Paris gravel.
Talk about milking every dollar out of people when they travel.

So with that, may I present a memento:

felt Eiffel Tower

of the city of light and other things.

And a photograph of a little boy visiting the estate of ancient queens & kings.


With gardens so vast, it has not been surpassed.
So beautiful you could cry.
We left le Marais and spend the whole day
at the palace of Versallies.

Back then Paris was filthy,
and this a playground for aristocrats.
T’was their escape from the sewer stench of the city
and it’s sickly inhabitants.
Where Marie Antoniette had a village built
on the grounds where she had played.
And pretended what it’s like to live the simple life
of a pheasant dairy maid.
I am sure the revolutionists were thrilled about that,
no wonder they wanted her head.
I also heard if you dug deep enough,
the dirt under Paris is all stained blood red.

And before you comment on my choice of greys,
it’s merely just for show.
The Eiffel Tower has more of a dark tannish
(almost pooish) coloured glow.

And with every one a t-shirt will go
that contains the following draft:

My relative/friend spent 3 weeks in Paris.
All I got was this stupid handmade craft.

We now return you to your regularly crafted programme!


23 Responses to “French Crafts, je t’aime!”

  1. How creative! I loved this post! 🙂

  2. Sally said

    I’m so envious, I so wish I could see Paris. Thanks for sharing a taste with us.

    Happy weekend,


  3. Jaime said

    Cancelled cable! Wow, that’s hardcore. Guess you’ll have more time then for crafts.

  4. I wonder how long each person on the internet spends on each page, not long enough to get educated. The Eiffel Tower is so architectural and the garden perspective shot of the child great.

  5. monica said

    ah Paris. Everytime I find something I totally love there… and whilst I wouldn’t want to live there, I love to go back again and again…

  6. simi said

    Oooh Paris! I’d love to see France someday…especially after I read “Chocolat” . That garden: WOW. I want to run through it in a frilly dress. 😀
    Glad you had fun, and it’s nice to have you back!!

  7. Carmen said

    Loved this – and who knew the Eiffel Tower was poo coloured? 😀 Fantastic.

  8. Lauranie said

    Back home…safe and sound, yay! NO CABLE? I would go crazy! Our TV was not working when we got back from our mini-vacation….I was on the phone with a repairman first thing in the morning!!! And as I was patiently waiting for him to get there I noticed something… I HAVE KIDS!!! 😀 Can’t wait to see the goodies you crank out now!! xo

  9. Gina said

    You are the funniest person in Blogland. Possibly also the most insane. I love your tacky tacky poo-coloured Eiffel Tower, almost as much as the mind that made it and wrote that Ode to Paris!

  10. Sarah B. said

    Love the t-shirt slogan!

  11. mo said

    It sounds wonderful. I love Paris too though I hope they have done something about all the dog poop since my last visit. Love the felt Eiffel Tower!

  12. Jo L said

    What a lovely blog to stumble upon. Love the Eiffel tower. xx

  13. Jeannie said

    I love the picture of the little one at Versailles. Paris is one place I’ve always wanted to go but I guess I’ll just have to dream about it from afar!! Glad you had a good time and welcome back. 🙂

  14. Heather said

    We cancelled cable one year and I was surprised at how well we did – the summer was the easiest, but when winter hit, my husband really needed to watch his hockey games – you know you’re Canadian when…. LOL!!!

  15. “one day…we’re gonna live…in paris…i promise” your eiffel tower is crazy detailed- how did you do that?!! big time patience required for all that stitching…it looks awesome! so glad you had a fun summer trip 😀 that picture of the tower with the dude in it is hilarious! welcome back!

  16. Rebekah said

    I lived in France 20 years ago and I still miss so many things about it. I *love* your souvenir. Perfect. And I’m probably going to make one, because I’m slightly obsessed with the Eiffel Tower. 🙂

  17. Oh, a little bit of paris is just what i needed! I need to make myself a little tour eiffel!

  18. 3rdEyeMuse said

    this post was such a riot – you can be my tour guide any day! 🙂 plus, I’m diggin the momento (but not the possessed peddler – he’s sort of got that creepy demon look in his eyes).

  19. Megan said

    I love your poem! At first I thought you were channeling Yoda (which I totally do, btw), but then I got that it was poetry. 😛

    I’m glad you got to see Versailles. Silly me, I didn’t while I was there.

    I love your felted Tour Eiffel souvenir! C’est trop mignon!

  20. inki said

    Awesome felted souvenir! And just as awesome is your rhyming tour guide poem – witty and true 🙂

  21. Rain said

    Sweeeeeeeet poem!!

    It brought back memories when I visited France. Versailles was my most memorable time – other than Disneyland of course – oh and Louvres. Hmm.

  22. I like your point of view, so true ! I love your felt Eiffel Tower ! Beautiful job ! Like Karl Lagerfeld ! Your sushis and futos makis are also wonderful !

  23. Rose said

    That was awesome.

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